Friday, November 20, 2009

stepping stone..

Friday night and I find myself home again. Not really complaining as after this week of being on the road and one long 24 hour EMS shift where we ran call after call, not resting the whole shift. Some home time is nice, so I will take it. Actually had a coffee date tonight but she never set up and a time and I am glad. Newly divorced female is always bad news. Sorry if saying that offends anyone reading this. Same rule applies to newly divorced males. Give yourself time, let yourself heal, life goes on..Sorry if I sound short tonight but not really in the mood for sugar coating things. Tired of games and I didn't sign up to be the host..
Stepping stones..That's what I feel like tonight. Seems like everyone I have dated has found that someone they were looking for. While I feel happy that their search is over it really leaves a lot to be desired as it leaves me feeling like I was a warm up for the big game. Such is life. Just grow a thicker skin and keep moving. Single life is so overrated. I've been divorced twice, so I feel I can make that statement. Tonight I feel bitter. I am tired of turning the other cheek, tired of being your best friend, tired of being everything that he isn't yet you go back to him. Standing in the wings, watching you make mistakes yet my voice carries no weight so I remain silent. Tired of being your refuge from the storm, tired of being used. Hoping for more yet your lesson still goes unlearned and I cant take anymore. I have gave and gave, expecting nothing in return but soon it was clear giving wasn't enough, it was becoming your own personal entitlement, one which you never earned to begin with and aren't worthy of. Rome is on fire hon...burn with it.

I'm out..

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