Tuesday, September 11, 2018

...can beauty come out of ashes...

Days turn to night to days and to the point they become a constant flicker, no memory needed. Days go by and clarity of the senses comes and goes. The heart and mind finally begin to converse after a long self imposed solitude. Now, reaching out to take each step slowly but with a certain steadfastness not found for some time. Healing beginning. Summer has ended and Fall is close but only in the mind for now. Road trips, work schedules so many things to fill time and keep the mind busy. Still the heart isn't fooled but it remains silent and waiting. Both know its a slow process. Lessons learned and new scars to remind of mistakes made. At least now the compass has swung north and a course laid in. Step by step under a starry sky,  finally slumber in sight and with it comes a chance to dream of what ifs and if only. A distant voice, a memory, a tear and suddenly you . Hand upon hand on the glass, warmth passes from one to the other. Lost for a moment and then fading away once again... yet I am wide awake. 

Can beauty come out of ashes....  

Sunday, August 5, 2018

...sitting on the moon.

I'm sitting on the moon watching planet blue, hello..
Looking all around rotating without sound, where are you?
Where are you? I'm sitting on the moon. Where are you?
I am missing you.
 
I came from very far
A little unknown star, hello...
I don't know what to do it is so cold and blue, without you....where are you?
Where are you? I'm sitting on the moon. Where are you? 
I am missing you..
 
 
Who are you?

Monday, July 9, 2018

...Wayfarers Journey.

Tonight with the ebb and flow of thoughts mixed with memories of the recent and not so recent. Mistakes of years past and now of days recent I carefully and humbly read the lessons written before me...for me only.. Feeling frustrated that nothing is as it once was. Tonight an epiphany of sorts. Wayfarers journey began a long time ago with the purpose of finding someone. Finding the person I was meant to be with but finding out I have been doing it all wrong and for so long. Now I find it hard to move forward and finally realize it is due to me finally throwing out the script I always went by. Now, I have no plan, no guide nothing before me and I am slowly walking forward in the dark it seems. Having to use other senses than a biased sight and wreckless heart and now find myself scrutinizing every step before taking it. I am so use to forging ahead, blindly thinking that I know what I am doing. Time has moved on at its pace and I, having stayed the same, have now changed. I have grown cold and withdrawn and all by my own deeds. Realizing and seeing this tonight may be a step in the right direction that has been finally taken. Standing outside a fallen fortress of solitude. Images of things once wanted, scattered around the debris of the heart and mind. Questions now bring their full voice to bear. I listen and begin to doubt everything I feel now or have felt....except a certain smile, embrace and final goodbye from long ago. For this I watch the compass swing north and another slow step is taken. Wayfarers Journey...   

Sunday, June 24, 2018

...waiting


 Standing still. A memory of solitude has come and now refuses to leave. Eyes closed tightly but yet a single tear manages to escape, betraying the heart and what its thinking, feeling, hurting. It isn't a matter of where or when or who, but only of "now." Thoughts pass by and epiphanies come and go but not one offer a answer or solution, only more questions. The mind and heart haven't spoken to one another for quite sometime now. Pride, hurt, fear, really doesn't matter anymore does it? Trying to trust again trust myself, but the silence is so deafening from this end. The storm inside rages on and I pull this cloak a little tighter, enduring..waiting for daylight. Waiting for you...just wish I knew who you were.