tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-43624432359141894502024-03-05T15:14:08.168-05:00Someone Said Goodbye...Thoughts from the inside..Wayfarerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11579538029908151829noreply@blogger.comBlogger448125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4362443235914189450.post-25903234978022919972023-05-01T19:51:00.000-04:002023-05-01T19:51:09.588-04:00...revisiting.<p><i><span style="font-size: large;"> It's been over a year since I have been here, been in my thoughts, almost like a forgotten room in a house suddenly open to the light. Many years have passed since my time began here. Looking around, still so many scattered memories not dealt with and lessons of the heart and mind still not put away for good. I find myself thinking maybe its time to begin again. For now? Sitting here just thinking am I strong enough to do so....<br /></span></i></p><p><i><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></i></p><p><i><span style="font-size: large;">...revisiting. </span></i><br /></p>Wayfarerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11579538029908151829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4362443235914189450.post-29809316988749132082021-12-24T22:56:00.000-05:002021-12-24T22:56:27.866-05:00...been here before.<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjbYmZ3FXvCVzOrh6vKtMMmVY51fXo3En1NeornaRcEZbIaFuM7QCyNYkyO5fq8jb8ejZcmtjXHT8o5wbzIAiG7VI-m9qz3chuYLUhPzobbJHSqeRfD29WpJ3S8ilcr1_YqZfHoC66510uJWwogwK_uod6CrHjzFIIPFRTQgV2guV0vrBHTKuq4EDgn=s610" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="610" data-original-width="610" height="427" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjbYmZ3FXvCVzOrh6vKtMMmVY51fXo3En1NeornaRcEZbIaFuM7QCyNYkyO5fq8jb8ejZcmtjXHT8o5wbzIAiG7VI-m9qz3chuYLUhPzobbJHSqeRfD29WpJ3S8ilcr1_YqZfHoC66510uJWwogwK_uod6CrHjzFIIPFRTQgV2guV0vrBHTKuq4EDgn=w466-h427" width="466" /></a></div><br /> <span style="font-family: georgia;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">Been here before. I know the drill. My fault from the beginning. More times than not I have to walk away from what I should have never walked towards to begin with. Nothing more than being re-reminded again. </span></i></span><br /><p></p>Wayfarerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11579538029908151829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4362443235914189450.post-31221312143613285142021-11-09T22:20:00.004-05:002021-11-09T22:26:12.678-05:00....Faded.<p><i><span style="font-size: large;"> <span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto"> </span></span></i></p><p><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">"You were the shadow to my light</span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">, d</span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">id you feel us</span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">?
</span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">Another start,</span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto"> </span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">you fade away</span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">. </span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">Afraid our aim is out of sight</span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">, w</span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">anna see us</span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">, a</span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">light"...</span></span></i></p><p></p><p><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">Where are you now... <br /></span></span></i></p><p><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto"></span></span></i></p><p><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">Was it all in my fantasy,</span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto"> </span></span></i></p><p><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">Where are you now,</span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto"> </span></span></i></p><p><i><span style="font-size: large;">W<span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">ere you only imaginary</span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">.</span></span></i></p><p><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">So lost....</span></span></i></p><p><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">I'm fading...... <br /></span></span></i></p><p><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto"></span></span></i></p><p><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">Alan Walker "Faded"</span></span></i></p><p><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">=============================== <br /></span></span></i></p><p><i><span style="font-size: large;">How the heart remembers, how it idealizes someone, the moment, every moment, the love it clung ever so tightly to and now looks back having a forced moment of clarity. A difficult reconciling in how it felt back then to now...recognizing its denial and that time is what it is, gone. <br /></span></i>
<i><span style="font-size: large;"><br />Memories passing by. "Was it all in my fantasy, were you imaginary"<br /></span></i>
<i><span style="font-size: large;">With a gentle goodbye it comes to an end, the heart being silent and the mind begins the process of sorting through the emotions, memories, slowly filing away and locking away every piece it collects. Finality starts a new thread, a new line of thought. A slow healing will begin eventually, but for now the realization, doubt, that maybe it was all in my mind,
but the heart still yearned for how it felt once, what it wanted now. The mind, knowing the price to be paid would be quick and painful, can only stand and watch not wanting to
accept that it could've possibly intervened. The heart being addicted to the emotions it felt then and wanting yet again hoping that the
other also felt something special. T</span><span style="font-size: large;">ime brings more clarity, going from all things anew to slowly being faded and with this a healing begins. </span></i></p><p><i><br /><span style="font-size: large;">"I'm letting go, a deeper dive".</span> </i><span style="font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;"><i>The mind now simply sits quietly, taking in everything and is lost for now.</i></span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;"><i>Faded....... </i><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;"><i><span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto"> <br /></span></span></i></span></p><p><i><span style="font-size: large;"><br /><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto"></span></span></i><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto"></span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto"></span></p>Wayfarerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11579538029908151829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4362443235914189450.post-43185833474421303612021-09-05T21:01:00.000-04:002021-09-05T21:01:07.757-04:00...tearing at the seams.<p> <br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="375" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/uEDhGX-UTeI" width="481" youtube-src-id="uEDhGX-UTeI"></iframe></div><p></p>Wayfarerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11579538029908151829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4362443235914189450.post-41348516956689974652021-08-23T22:05:00.003-04:002021-08-23T22:08:22.400-04:00...seeking solace.<p><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Handlee;"> <i><span>When change arrives in life we struggle, deny, reason and finally accept it, trying to carry on, carry a resemblance of normalcy and hold to what we think is what we need in life. The mind and heart continue screaming at each other, bitterness and disappointment with an emptiness I had hoped to have forgotten by now. Once again facing the realization that things will never be what I wanted and needing to move on. It is painful. Its carving an all to familiar void in my heart, but its necessary. Regret? A two sided coin indeed. Graced with emotions from one extreme to the other. The heart, not aware of the subtle lies it tells itself but wont admit to, still races on. Its oblivious to the end result ahead and the mind being helpless can only brace. </span></i></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Handlee;"><i><span>Then the inevitable hits..repeatedly, deeper each time, each memory. Punishment of sorts, mine and mine alone to endure. Realization hits harder than anything, leaving no more than futile reasoning at "why" and "what". Now just a quiet, deep and hollow emptiness that clings to the senses. The heart and mind are now quiet with now words needed... <br /></span></i></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Handlee;"><i><span> </span></i></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Handlee;"><i><span> </span></i></span></span></p><p><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Handlee;">...seeking solace </span> </span><br /></span></i></p>Wayfarerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11579538029908151829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4362443235914189450.post-3115203603881745632021-08-02T23:11:00.003-04:002021-08-23T21:16:23.107-04:00....oh I wish. <i><span style="font-family: Caveat;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Handlee;">You said, "There's a place for you up in the sky and next time we meet I know you'll be shining."<br />But the forces of gravity, uncertainty, self doubt, they pushed me back down to the ground right where I started.<br /> <br />Oh I wish the wind would just carry me<br />home, because I don't belong here, no.<br /> <br />I know there's a place for me out in this world, but I got lost I'm just a guy. I'm fearful but learning.<br />And I don't want anyone to see me break, because I'm held together with string and lately it's tearing.<br />And I wonder if I will ever be fine.<br />Yes, I wonder if I will ever smile again.<br /> <br />Oh I wish the wind would just carry me<br />Home, because I don't belong here no. </span><br /><br /> <span style="font-family: Handlee;">....oh I wish. <span style="font-size: medium;">"Carry Me" Olivia Milershin</span><br /></span></span></span></i><div class="ujudUb"><i><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Handlee;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="337" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/jogvFlBUdzE" width="498" youtube-src-id="jogvFlBUdzE"></iframe></div></span></span></span></span></i><i><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Handlee;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span><span><b><span style="font-size: medium;"></span></b><br /></span></span></span></span></span></i></div><div class="ujudUb"><i><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Handlee;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span><span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></i><i><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Handlee;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span><span></span></span></span></span></span></i></div><div class="ujudUb WRZytc"><i><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Handlee;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span></span><span><br /></span></span></span></span></i></div>Wayfarerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11579538029908151829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4362443235914189450.post-60122618277546450132021-07-19T22:05:00.001-04:002021-07-19T22:05:27.684-04:00<p><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Dancing Script;"><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">All these faded pictures I save</span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto"> i</span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">n the corners of my mind.</span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">
</span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">They call in waves to take me away</span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">,
</span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">I won’t be back tonight…</span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto"> </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Dancing Script;"><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto"> ...</span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto"></span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto"></span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto"></span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">And I breathe, the sights,</span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto"> t</span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">hat we left behind.</span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto"> W</span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">hen I dream, those nights</span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">, </span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">will always be mine.</span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto"> </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Dancing Script;"><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">And </span>I<span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto"> feel as years unfold</span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto"> t</span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">hat we are still connected</span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">, t</span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">o those days when we were young</span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto"> </span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">and you were my reflection..</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto"> </span></span></p><p></p><span style="font-family: Dancing Script;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto"> </span><span>And I still come back to you..</span></span></span><p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOCmo8CY1dY_fesKMuazFMEd2Fuxo08AIXlbn2OE4F_b1_rbP73iTW-Lj0oVv9qFqdmPASBcz_d1nIeLXpFKpa8C3AWY1nEXs79daj_tYbZGuq59ilK_qN6NCjHN67tpBVRo43nQx7b4U/s2048/IMG_4183Ef.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOCmo8CY1dY_fesKMuazFMEd2Fuxo08AIXlbn2OE4F_b1_rbP73iTW-Lj0oVv9qFqdmPASBcz_d1nIeLXpFKpa8C3AWY1nEXs79daj_tYbZGuq59ilK_qN6NCjHN67tpBVRo43nQx7b4U/w350-h213/IMG_4183Ef.jpg" width="350" /></a></div><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto"> </span></span><p></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Dancing Script;"><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto"> </span><span>And you are my reflection...</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Dancing Script;"><span> <br /></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Dancing Script;"><span> </span></span></span></p>Wayfarerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11579538029908151829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4362443235914189450.post-15846017618420599452021-06-22T22:59:00.001-04:002021-06-22T22:59:23.731-04:00...where to from here. <p> <span style="font-size: large;"><i>...another day faded into evening and another day of uncertainty at an end. Nightfall brings another tapestry of remembrance and how that time has slipped away from me. I have no anchor and the compass spins, having lost my true north. Regret, wishing apologies could be passed on and just maybe forgiveness, if any, obtained but time doesn't allow for this. Sometimes you don't get to share the enlightenment of your wrongs trying to be made right. Somethings can't be fixed nor need to be revisited, some regret you just have to live with. Years wasted in not knowing what I really wanted nor what I was doing. A perpetual train wreck that never ceased, creating chaos that would revisit me later in life. The outcome? Being well beyond solitude and into being alone. For almost 20 years this blog, like me, has been a work in progress. What I thought was progress was nothing more than me stumbling through relationships, friendships to now find myself in this self made world of mind games of middle age remorse. Even with all that's been said and done there remains a small amount of hope. </i></span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;"><i>...where to from here. <br /></i></span></p>Wayfarerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11579538029908151829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4362443235914189450.post-15405154176017249872021-05-18T22:33:00.002-04:002021-06-22T22:03:18.925-04:00....when memories come to play<p><span style="font-size: large;"><i> It's easy to reach for a memory, as it provides a temporary solace of sorts. But like any medication it slowly fades, leaving you wanting another dose. Slowly you find yourself needing ever increasing doses. Its an addiction until someone enters your life to bring it to an end and begin a chapter anew. Its a safety valve for the heart and mind now that all is said and done. The days are far past for me. The heart and mind sit in solitude. Memories come to play each eveningfall and fade with each morning. I have loved deeply, much to my own hurt. I held on when I should have let go, walked into things knowing I should have walked away from. Sadly I have walked away when I should have held on with everything. Now? Hesitant to begin again as the heart, like the mind, is numb, afraid and unsure. Constant struggle but finally a few moments of relief<br /></i></span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;"><i>...when memories come to play. </i></span><br /></p>Wayfarerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11579538029908151829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4362443235914189450.post-63613246722024754112021-04-11T21:27:00.001-04:002021-04-11T21:27:12.204-04:00...remembering to forget.<p><span style="font-size: large;"><i>Sometimes words don't flow, sometimes it's that there's just to much inside. Time, healing and solitude are needed to allow an escape of sorts. Inspiration, muse of a different kind perhaps? Needing to remember that I need to forget and let go. Hindsight providing the images that a right choice was made but with a heavy price to pay and repaid through the years. Day by day, bit by bit, letting memories go and watching another world slowly drift away. The heart and mind, still silent but still ever so hopeful as each day brings another day of closure of normality. Realizing life is a journey and I need to start enjoying that blessed part of it as I once did. Relearning who I am and where I am headed. Knowing that there's more to this life than just mere chance. For now its a daily effort to keep the heart and mind moving forward and to just <br /></i></span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;"><i>....remember to forget. </i></span><br /></p>Wayfarerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11579538029908151829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4362443235914189450.post-57095169733899828682021-03-27T22:02:00.003-04:002021-03-27T22:02:51.825-04:00Jason Crabb - He Knows What He's Doing (Lyric Video)<p><span style="font-size: large;"><i><span><span>So here while my heart breaks I</span><span> have to believe t</span><span>hat God, he knows what he's doing"</span></span></i></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><iframe frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://youtube.com/embed/3TZYJ7i6EaE" width="480"></iframe></p>Wayfarerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11579538029908151829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4362443235914189450.post-26502390956270416932021-02-14T19:22:00.002-05:002021-02-14T20:09:19.422-05:00...back when <p><i><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></i></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-size: large;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="360" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/s6VaeFCxta8" width="482" youtube-src-id="s6VaeFCxta8"></iframe></span></i></div><p></p><p><i><span style="font-size: large;">...tonight I sit quietly thinking of "back when." Wishing that I could have known back then what I know now. But that's just the way it works. So much time gone, me just stumbling my way through life and relationships with no clue of my direction, thinking I knew what I wanted what I was doing and leaving a path of bitterness behind. Now having both eyes opened I can clearly see and must sit and reminisce at what was and what could have been. A punishment of sorts that I deserve more than I can say and humbly and rightfully endure now. We reap what we sow and more. Scars by my own doing resulting in my undoing. Reading back over the entire blog and not much has changed except me getting older. Moments of realization, of happiness and goodbyes and then repeat process. I am alone, my fault as it has been before. Life of a wayfarer, knowing I really need some photography time on the back roads, I guess I am trying to find some elusive part of me I lost a long time ago, real or imagined. The needed escape for me, being in my element, unknown and a nobody. I still wonder about "what ifs" and "if onlys" and know that there is no going back...But tonight I sit here and remember,</span></i></p><p><i><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></i></p><p><span style="font-size: large;"><i>...back when.</i> </span><br /></p>Wayfarerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11579538029908151829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4362443235914189450.post-9471043459164341362021-01-09T15:30:00.000-05:002021-01-09T15:30:17.160-05:00...still fading.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="408" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/8fGLiIvKKys" width="612" youtube-src-id="8fGLiIvKKys"></iframe></div><br /><p><br /></p>Wayfarerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11579538029908151829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4362443235914189450.post-1461642306937321472020-12-29T21:21:00.004-05:002020-12-29T21:21:38.370-05:00..let her go It'll be alright<p> <span style="font-size: medium;"><i><span></span></i></span></p><div class="ujudUb"><span style="font-size: medium;"><i><span> </span></i></span></div><div class="ujudUb"><span style="font-size: medium;"><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span> </span></span></i></span></div><div class="ujudUb"><span style="font-size: medium;"><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span>But nothing heals, t</span><span>he past like time</span><br /><span>and they can't steal t</span><span>he love you're born to find...</span></span></i></span></div><div class="ujudUb"><span style="font-size: medium;"><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span><span>It's never easy to walk away, let her go, i</span><span>t'll be okay</span></span></span></i></span></div><div class="ujudUb"><span style="font-size: medium;"><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span> </span></span></i></span></div><div class="ujudUb"><span style="font-size: medium;"><i><span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></i></span></div><div class="ujudUb"><span style="font-size: medium;"><i><span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></i></span></div><div class="ujudUb"><span style="font-size: medium;"><i><span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></i></span></div><div class="ujudUb"><span style="font-size: medium;"><i><span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></i></span></div><div class="ujudUb"><span style="font-size: medium;"><i><span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></i></span></div><div class="ujudUb"><span style="font-size: medium;"><i><span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></i></span></div><div class="ujudUb"><span style="font-size: medium;"><i><span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></i></span></div><div class="ujudUb"><span style="font-size: medium;"><i><span><span style="font-size: large;">..let her go, it'll be alright..</span></span></i></span></div><div class="ujudUb"><span style="font-size: medium;"><i><span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></i></span></div><div class="ujudUb"><span style="font-size: medium;"><i><span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></i></span></div><div class="ujudUb"><span style="font-size: medium;"><i><span><span style="font-size: large;"><span><span></span></span></span><br /></span><span></span></i></span></div><p></p>Wayfarerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11579538029908151829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4362443235914189450.post-58425485264447544482020-10-12T20:47:00.001-04:002020-10-12T20:47:04.819-04:00.....ordinary world not seeming ordinary.<p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">Came in from a rainy Thursday on the avenue
Thought I heard you talking softly.
I turned on the lights, the TV, and the radio, still I can't escape the ghost of you.
What has happened to it all?
Crazy someone say.
Where is the life that I recognize? Gone away...</span></span></i></span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">-------- <br /></span></span></i></span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto"> </span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">Passion or coincidence once prompted you to say
"Pride will tear us both apart."
Well now prides gone out the window cross the rooftops run away, left me in the vacuum of my heart.
What is happening to me?
Crazy someone say.
Where is my friend when I need you most?
Gone away</span></span></i></span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">-------- <br /></span></span></i></span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto"> </span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">Papers in the roadside tell of suffering and greed.
Fear today forgot tomorrow.
Besides the news of holy war and holy need, ours is just a little sorrowed talk..</span></span></i></span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto"> </span></span><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto"> </span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">But I won't cry for yesterday
There's an ordinary world
Somehow I have to find..
And as I try to make my way to the ordinary world, I will learn to survive</span></span></i></span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto"> </span></i></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto"> </span></i></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto"> </span><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">Every world is my world </span></i></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto">(I will learn to survive).................eventually.</span></i></span></span></p>Wayfarerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11579538029908151829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4362443235914189450.post-37791521086963336992020-07-10T22:34:00.000-04:002020-07-10T22:36:51.148-04:00...sometimes.<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">...sometimes things aren't what they seem and never were.</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">...sometimes things go south and no reason is given.</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">...sometimes things change and the storm blindsides you.</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">...sometimes a kiss hurts more than a goodbye.</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">...sometimes you cant let go even though it hurts to hang on.</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">...sometimes you think you knew it all and didn't.</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">...sometimes you do reap what you have sown, scar by scar.</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">...sometimes no matter how well you hide, memories still find you.</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">...sometimes the demons do win...</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">...sometimes. </span></i></span>Wayfarerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11579538029908151829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4362443235914189450.post-31702733558010100122020-05-24T22:14:00.003-04:002020-05-24T22:14:47.584-04:00...so many.<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">Returned from a long road trip. My soul found much needed solace with a mixture of back road solitude. Sunrises and sunsets competed for my attention as the mind cherished both. The moon and stars complimented each other as they crossed the Appalachian mountains. My camera clicking away, capturing moments now slowly drifting deeper into my memory for safe keeping. Life behind the lens, one moment at a time. Sights familiar yet always new to the senses and the heart feels its finally back home when on the road, with each day bringing a bit of healing. There's a place within the heart. We all know it. A yearning for something, maybe someone who we have met, possibly haven't met yet. Maybe its somewhere, a place that feels like coming home. My heart feels a mixture of all. The book opened with pages turned, so many blank and waiting to be written yet with pen in hand I still stare at them not knowing what to say. Miles passed and memories followed me down each forgotten road while some patiently waited for me to pass by, bringing bitter sweetness with a subtle smile. </span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">So many pages to be written.</span></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></i></span>Wayfarerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11579538029908151829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4362443235914189450.post-17630739529472940392020-04-03T21:23:00.000-04:002020-04-03T21:23:06.003-04:00....step by step.<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Tonight sitting down, I yearn to write like I once did. Thoughts once flowed so easily from memories made. Aside from an entry here or there the freedom to truly let go has remained elusive for quite some time. Once when prose came easily as if to play and everything flowed. Time was kind, slow to pass and the Wayfarer counted the miles and smiles that passed by. Memory after memory step by step and the journey continued until...</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>--------------------------- </i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Tonight I finally feel a subtle hint of the familiar. Still distant but still a reconnecting. Many years ago a wayfarer was born when "someone said goodbye". The joy of discovery of whats around the next turn in life. Since then so many poor choices of the heart, coupled with impetuousness, have taken a toll on the mind and soul. If my heart were a house it would not be home. As of this moment jaded memories of late with broken themes line its walls like an odd tapestry. The mind and heart trust not the other and so the emptiness remains but with time and healing they will begin a dialog. So many scars now with so many memories that accompany each one. The mind counts each one, each memory, while the heart looks on, ashamed for creating the chaos over the years. Now, both are deeply jaded and numbed. Where to from here? I haven't a clue but somewhere out there are more memories to make, more back roads to explore and just maybe this Wayfarer will find a bit of healing. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Step by step..</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i> </i></span>Wayfarerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11579538029908151829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4362443235914189450.post-42459833103722133202020-02-26T23:47:00.001-05:002020-02-26T23:47:11.872-05:00...all I ask is.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Wayfarerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11579538029908151829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4362443235914189450.post-71699225285910760362019-02-19T21:45:00.002-05:002019-02-19T21:45:39.563-05:00...right here waiting.<i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;">Day by day. Expectations balanced on reality. Watching from afar and knowing things are the same and as they should be. A smile from within and the years fade with choices made and time moves us along. Tonight, I finally have time to stop and try to find some familiar music and put my thoughts into perspective. Still amazes me how thoughts once flowed so easily and now things seem to be in a bottleneck of sorts. Walking so carefully now, not trusting others or my own judgment. Repeating mistakes over the years and expecting different outcomes and now seeing everything so clearly. Realizing the hurt I caused others and myself. Stumbling through life with a sense of thinking I knew what I was doing and setting myself up for failure. Finally I am where I need to be and should have been a long time ago. Better late than never. Waiting now for that that I seek. Patience never used before, now a saving grace. Looking back at what could have been one to many times, to what is and now what can be. Bitter sweetness remains but now a clean and final slate to be written. Even now as this blog continues, the reason it was created remains a constant. Someone said goodbye. Even through all the chaos I still remain...</span></span></i><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;">...right here waiting. </span></span></i>Wayfarerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11579538029908151829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4362443235914189450.post-41966081532625946022018-12-31T21:21:00.000-05:002018-12-31T21:21:04.382-05:00...once and again.<span style="font-size: large;">...I don't post much as I once did. Twenty years have brought so many changes in my life. "Blessed' is an understatement of sorts. Easy for me to get distracted by past events in my life but slowly seeing a much bigger picture now. 2019 is a few hours a way followed by a birthday marking 51 solar cycles here on earth. Gone is the love struck thirty something idealist of true love, and the adventure of finding "the one" that goes along with it. Twenty years and this blog is still here and so am I. Still here sitting in front of a screen thinking and typing. Not that that there wasn't joy and happiness during this time. There was, prices paid and lessons learned. Now realizing that I didn't know as much as what I thought I did and that people aren't what they seem to be sometimes. I have been to the edge of the abyss and walked back, knowing its not the answer. Within all this so many memories with tears and smiles to go with each. 2018 has been a year of change for me and I can say for the better. Wishing I could go back and change so much, a smile here and an many apologies there. Turning 51 isn't about wondering "if i still got it", its all about having whats needful and being humble, thankful and content with what I have. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Happy New year...once and again. </span>Wayfarerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11579538029908151829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4362443235914189450.post-80741409827171245012018-12-04T20:47:00.001-05:002018-12-04T20:49:18.894-05:00...to late.<span style="font-size: large;"> ..sometimes its just to late.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">To late to say goodbye..</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> To late to say I am sorry..</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> To late to say I was wrong..</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> To late to say I was right </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> To late for the apology..</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> To late to be the man wish I could have been..</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> To late to be the man I thought I was.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> To late to realize you weren't who I thought you were..</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> To late to to never have met you..</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> To late to have just kept walking.. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> To late to have made different choices in life..</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> To late to just think with the my head and not my heart..</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> To late for "what if's"..</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> To late for "if only"..</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> To late to trust.. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">To late for everything..</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> </span>Wayfarerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11579538029908151829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4362443235914189450.post-2200233245666707612018-11-16T21:57:00.000-05:002018-11-16T22:12:25.867-05:00....and again.<br />
<br />
<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>"When I shut my eyes
I still feel you in my arms and it's you I want, but I can't have you, not this time." </i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i> </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>...all I have tonight.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i> </i></span>Wayfarerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11579538029908151829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4362443235914189450.post-39907505395922362232018-09-26T21:47:00.003-04:002018-09-26T22:05:27.278-04:00...opened my eyes.......finally.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;"> <span> "I was thinking bout her, thinkin' bout me</span></span></i></span><br />
<div class="UH8R2">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span> Thinkin' bout us, what we gon' be;</span><br /><span> Open my eyes yeah, it was only Just A Dream</span><br /><span> So I traveled back, down that road</span><br /><span> Will she come back, no one knows</span></span></i></span><span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">".... </span></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i> Realizing whatever dreams may come they are still that, dreams. Been working on erasing the past, image by image. Taking the notes and lessons to heart. A battle of inches it seems. As time passes a numbness settles in. A welcome relief of sorts. Haven't felt this in a many years and a comfortable feeling at that. Clean slate finally laid before me. Just a few more days to begin writing a new chapter for a new life..</i></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>...opened my eyes..finally. </i></span></span> Wayfarerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11579538029908151829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4362443235914189450.post-85606380128043909272018-09-11T23:19:00.001-04:002018-09-11T23:23:43.035-04:00...can beauty come out of ashes...<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">Days turn to night to days and to the point they become a constant flicker, no memory needed. Days go by and clarity of the senses comes and goes. The heart and mind finally begin to converse after a long self imposed solitude. Now, reaching out to take each step slowly but with a certain steadfastness not found for some time. Healing beginning. Summer has ended and Fall is close but only in the mind for now. Road trips, work schedules so many things to fill time and keep the mind busy. Still the heart isn't fooled but it remains silent and waiting. Both know its a slow process. Lessons learned and new scars to remind of mistakes made. At least now the compass has swung north and a course laid in. Step by step under a starry sky, finally slumber in sight and with it comes a chance to dream of what ifs and if only. A distant voice, a memory, a tear and suddenly you . Hand upon hand on the glass, warmth passes from one to the other. Lost for a moment and then fading away once again... yet I am wide awake. </span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></i>
</span><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Can beauty come out of ashes.... </span> </span></i>Wayfarerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11579538029908151829noreply@blogger.com0