......searching.

Woke up this morning....slowly moved into my daily routine then remembering that everything had now changed, never to be the same again. Emptiness now resides where hope once flourished. Trying to reorient myself and try to get my bearings once again. Bitterness that raged before slowly begins to cool yet still it simmers. Eventually memories will fade, count you as a lesson I had to learn, had to let go of. But most importantly to be willing to let go of. I look at the landmarks that are before me now. Returning down a road that I am all to familiar with. Seems I have had to let go of so many things in my life. Things that meant so much to me. For what end I haven't a clue. Tonight this rings loud and clear..."I haven't a clue." I am too drained to even want to figure it out now.
For now bid me my time to embrace the cold and rain. Its familiar and it feels somewhat safe. So much laid waste now and I stand in a desolate landscape in my mind and heart. A survivor yes but now a refugee looking through the remains of memories..

..........searching.