freedom....

...time to put everything to a halt. No more of the things that have beset me, slowed my down and brought me low. No one to blame but myself. To much time spent on what I have wanted and not whats best for myself. Decisions made for the short term have done nothing more than drag me down and I have no one to blame but myself. Walking into these various situations with my eyes wide open but telling myself "I can handle this" or " I can walk away anytime I want to"... While I told myself this, circumstance and choices made slowly wrap tentacles around me until I cant do anything but continue my current path and have become blinded and don't care. Years ago I started this journey, slowly gave of myself, changing, to make others happy, doing things that made me happy but didn't really have my best interest in mind in the long run. Somewhere in this process I became untrue to myself and I never stopped to repair the damage fully. Just offering myself a "patch job"and never fully fixing the issues that have now caught up with me. All this, plus harboring things against someone that hurt me and mine deeply have slowly eaten away at my core. Slowly turning me bitter..This isn't the person I really am and I find myself shocked at what I see when facing the truth, now so evident. Time to forgive and let go. As long as I harbor ill will then I remain a captive and will never be free.........its time to be free....