lockdown..

"Somewhere in a lonely hotel room there’s a guy starting to realize
that eternal fate has turned it's back on him....It's 2 a.m."...
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(Bonus points if you recognize the song verse.)..But my exact feelings from this past week. Emotional roller coaster pure and simple and I want to get off now! I really had great expectations for this year but its been the pits! I have to laugh to keep from crying here. I had stopped dating due to the fact of not really being in the mood. A feeling of "why bother", "nothing but heartache anyway". This week has proven my point. I have had more drama in my life than a "Springer" episode. Drama brought into my life by others, but allowed by me. So who is to blame in the end?...Nobody but myself. I really seem to be a fecal magnet for the things I bring my way. Cant say that I am trying to hard in the searching department. Maybe just a run of bad luck. Maybe a test of my faith. If the latter is the case my faith is not really strong right now. Would be nice to have someone to lean on right about now. There seems to be the following categories in the dating world.

1. Meet someone and see that there isn't anything in common between the two of you. Its obvious and no big deal. A quick "thank you", "nice dinner" and you both go your separate ways. No harm done.
2. Meet someone, there is a small amount of chemistry to get your attention. Whether it be physical or intellectual its there and maybe one or more dates come and go. But alas there isn't enough chemistry or things "just don't feel right" come bubbling to the surface, you go your separate ways. No harm done good time had by all.
3. Meet someone. chemistry is there..oh yeah, its there. Several things in common, shared interests and things look good. Several dates come and go and then........They go back to their ex boyfriend or ex husband or somebody they had a history with or whatever the case may be. They are gone and you have to watch them ride off into the sunset....Yeah it stings a little, but life goes on.
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Well it seems I have been locked into the lucky old #3 for a good long while now. I have come to the conclusion that a woman must first date me first in order to go back and get with a previous significant other. Guess I am showing them how far they have sank in the dating world/food chain or letting them see how good they actually had it to begin with?? I am joking in this respect, but sheeeesh people, work with me here!! Disappointment is part of the dating world after divorce. I admit I seek some sort of resemblance of what I had. Family atmosphere, home life, cutting grass while kids and the dog plays, getting yelled at for forgetting the trash and even cold feet snuggling up to mine..(my screams eventually die down somewhat). Nice thoughts that one day might come true. But for now I don't see it , feel it or even expect it to happen to me. The dating world is full of DZ's or "divorce zombies" so to speak. Half dead, half alive...until that spark of love and life awakens the heart/human side and they live once again...Hmmm, maybe that's why my ex wife's feet were so cold....HA! Booyah!

Later !!
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Have a great weekend everyone. I appreciate everyone who stops by and visits here. God bless you on your journey!