Sunday, July 12, 2009


(Repost)"Watching the familiar slowly fade as time and distance play their part. Bittersweet in taste are the tears, the memories that slowly slip from the bonds of my minds eye. Seeing that I can make no headway by chasing the past. The mind slowly regains the upper hand. Seeing that I made my choice long ago and I must live with it. The past can't be changed but the present can be brought to a halt by a misplaced emotion as it is now. Slowly going over these images and feelings that I let go free so suddenly without cause. Time for all to be placed under heavy lock and key. Trying for a moment to relive the past, reaching out with nothing or no one to reach back. Once again I play the fool. With no future it is easy for the heart to reach back and seek what it had. The mind must reign in this wanderer. The heart must not rule the mind. Once this happens it is more addictive than any drug. The chase, the pursuit of what you think you want. I lived a life like this a long time ago. I am not that person now and the eventual outcome is still the same even today... broken lives, broken hearts,wasted time and spirit".
Read this again tonight. It was written last April and today it still rings so true. Sometimes wounds don't heal as quickly as we would like them to. Sometimes in the journey we find ourselves or the answers we seek. It seems that here lately I have forgotten the questions, much less answers that seem so elusive. The closer I have came to true happiness the heart becomes more and more restless..Afraid of the very thing it has sought for so long? Something has awakened within me. Something is changing within me.......What it is I have no idea and this makes me very uneasy.....

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