Wednesday, March 11, 2009


Enough with the old. This isn't the life I intend to live, for myself for for anyone. Ten years ago it was a new world for me. So many things to do and see. Things in life waiting to be experienced. Yes. I said goodbye and such is the title of this blog. Sometimes you have no choice. Sometime you think you have to and in the future you look back and see that you didn't. Cant change the past but my future is mine as what God will allow me. Tonight I sit here, headphones on my head, music playing, music that I love to write by and have done so for several years. Some songs do nothing but remind me of what I have lost, others of what I might find. Striking a balance, a perfect balance. For along time I have not been balanced. This week I am starting to feel the balance coming back. To much "useless" things in my life, negativity, things that I have allowed to drain me emotional and spiritually. Some things look so good at the onset and when placed in the right surroundings, look to good to be true, perfect in every way. As before they were to good to be true and cracks appear all to soon. This has cost me more of me this year. Reaching. Trying to find stability for the heart and mind and finding none. Falling down and feeling surprised and foolish for being in this place again. Realizing I have walked and can walk. No need to reach anymore, I am fine thank you very much.

Tonight is kind of a turning point. I will no longer search for this "elusive one." The first time I found her, it was her that found me. It happened once it will happen again. The music tonight here on the blog has been changed to lighten things up a bit. Songs from "back in the day" with a few more modern tunes as well. Some bring back very fond memories. Some thought provoking. Some for a few friends that describe them perfectly. "Goodbyes" have been said and will always be said in my life. It's time to enjoy life.
You told me once that "I know you, I can read you like a book"
To this I say you haven't a clue to who I am.
You were close, but never as close as you thought you were

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