"And I've been dying for hours trying to fill up all the holes with some sense. I'd like to know why you gave up and you threw it away, I'd like to give you all the reasons and what everything meant".
Tonight I have been sitting here in this chair working on online classes while the world passes by outside. If the brain can hurt mine is in agony tonight after all this studying. I am finding these getaways for my mind are coming more often or should I say that I feel like they need to come more often. My time, money, sanity all are stretched thin. There is more to it than what I can place on here for the world to read but somethings got to give. I can feel myself slowly closing off. Not wanting to do anything but simply shut down and go into a "stand by" mode. Tonight I feel anger. A emotion that I am not to familiar with as I try and let things go that need to be let go.
"I've been whispering softly, trying to build a cry up into a scream.
We let the past slip away, and put the future on hold,
Now the present is nothing but a hollowed-out dream".
Something won't let go tonight. Something I have kept pushed down for to long, something that needs addressing? Whatever the case may be my mind is to tired to analyze it and tonight I really don't care...
"If I could only find the words then I would write it all down,If I could only find a voice I would speak.
Oh, it's there in my eyes, oh, can't you see me tonight come on and look at me and read 'em and weep"!
(Special thanks to Barry Manilow for the lyrics tonight)