crossroads...

With the divorce now final a new life is starting to emerge for me. I have come to realize that dating now at 40 is no different for me than it was at 18. I still get nervous and feel stupid, but now I can laugh at myself for this adolescent feeling. I have somewhat learned a few things over the years this too seriously. Yes the emotions do run from one extreme from time to time. This is a given, nothing can be done about it.

(Dream music sequence starting)...

A long time ago after my first divorce, yes I said first divorce, I was bent on finding "the one"...The perfect person for me. I started online dating which, back in 1998, was just getting started and the sites were FREE!! Nobody had to pay to meet someone. Even today its still a great way to meet people near, even all over the world for that matter. Problem? Well the first rule is "If they are not local one of you will have to relocate to be with the other'. (Keep that in mind before you fire off that email to Ms right in Colorado.) I didn't really care about distance back then as I was wrapped up in the search. This cost my heart dearly in early 02. I chose career over what I had searched for and finally found. This would had still haunts me even today.
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Second marriage was wonderful. Over time we drifted apart. Nothing I can do now. She is still an awesome woman and we are still good friends..nuff said.
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So flash forward to present time....What will I do differently this time? Meet people online? Yeah, sure, but I am not going to worry about anything for now. The perfect one is out there somewhere. She has visited me in my dreams even though I don't know her name or who she is. But....she IS there. I just have to wait and be patient on God's time, not mine. God's will, not mine. The first time I did not know how to date and not get instantly attached. This set me up to look stupid more than once and also to be taken advantage of a few times. Its part of the learning curve of modern day romance. Time passes and you learn to play the game. So now its everyday is a new day and is what I make it. So where to from here? Forward.