Wanting..

Sometimes a touch is all one wants or has ever wanted. A glance, a smile. Being able to miss someone while they stand beside you is pain enough. To keep the spirit of discovery alive in ones heart, even when all is discovered. Such sweet discovery indeed. In her eyes, her touch her smile I need her now just to hold me as such will suffice. Do my dreams betray? They are not to be trusted as the heart seeks to rule the mind. The mind remains steadfast as the heart cries. Little by little giving in until...
Dreams never to be realized but yet I still dream. It is said that having someone and knowing they will never love as much as you love them is the loneliest feeling in the world. I must concur. But I know that having someone that loves you more than you could have ever dreamed of is a gift from God. I have held such but in another life. A life I can only look at through my mind. Once I held something so precious, never doubting. In the end I lacked the fortitude and found myself empty. I said "goodbye". A fork in the road, a different path taken never to return to this point in time or so I thought. Yet I find myself here again... unexpectedly. I search for the familiar, but nothing is the same. Landmarks remain but no warmth is here. Names carved into wood remain as reminder. A voice, a memory....vulnerable to to many things. I find myself closing off areas of my heart. One by one doors slowly close. Reopening of the senses shall come but not now. Two names carved into wood while scribbled beneath them the words still sting me. "You said goodbye".....