.....answers

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

something remembered..

A beautiful afternoon spent traveling around looking at the rolling countryside taking pictures. The sun begins to slip toward the horizon and I have yet to find a spot to shoot my ending images for the day. Then I remembered a perfect spot to shoot from. the warm evening air feels good blowing across the fields. As the sun goes down the nightlights began to twinkle on, you pull me off to one side and began to point out the lights of small towns several miles in the distance. You name the places now visible by eveningfall and the lights coming to life.... A train eases past us on a nearby track, having sneaked up on me and I complain as I am not set up for it and miss the shot. You smile at me, amused, and I cant help but laugh at myself. The train slowly moves on and fades into the darkness, its whistle announcing it has finally made it home and will rest. The stars are coming out one by one. I stand still and look at the beauty that is before me, reliving the day. I turn to you and you simply stare at me with a subtle smile, hand resting on my arm and then........

I awaken to find its 9am and I have overslept this morning. I lay still, silent, wondering who you are...where are you and when will our paths cross...We have been meeting in my dreams like this for the last 11 years...


Who are you...?
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Eveningfall. Tonight thoughts ebb and flow, surround me and my slow spiral. Cruel want for something out of reach it seems, holding on seems futile by some, yet I continue. Time has never been kind and the heart and mind will manipulate to reach their own needs. Patience is not a virtue I possess but now I am forced to learn what it has to teach me.Tonight I reread the post above and still remember ever detail no matter ow small. I remember the starry sky, the colors of eveningfall slowly radiate and fade and distant lights flickering to life as each found their solitude with loved ones. The train passing by on a tree shrouded track, the few cars its pulling, slowly creak by and its lonely whistle blowing in the distance. Then as I turned to gaze into the eyes and see a smile that still remain so elusive. Real or just a image I sought for so long. So many entries written yet no answers have ever surfaced. Blindly stumbling, still searching and somewhere deep inside hidden chambers hope still remained, hidden yet awakened from its slumber by her presence if only in my dreams from time to time.
...until tonight.
  A simple moment of revelation, unexpected and for now silence from the heart and mind as both realize the chapter has been finished, page written and the new chapter awaits. The heart sings for joy that she is real, a dream made flesh. captivated by her, embarrassed that it knew her not after sunrise when dreams fade to visit again but only when the heart and mind are quiet. The mind, humbled and astonished that everything was hidden but seen. as the realization was not meant to be until time deemed it so. Now? Watched by someone who I cant have due to circumstance of someone not realizing what they possess. Still I watch now learning again that answers aren't always the ones we would like them to be, just as a kiss isn't always the truth but it is what we wish the truth to be. So know I wait no longer constrained by slumber nor dream. Yet dreams are the only place i hold her as mine. Tonight, an answer to a long sought question. "Who are you?" That answer is now written inside and deep within me. Another answer, she is real. and she is still just as elusive but now I see with my heart and mind.

 A wayfarer is reborn..