When change arrives in life we struggle, deny, reason and finally accept it, trying to carry on, carry a resemblance of normalcy and hold to what we think is what we need in life. The mind and heart continue screaming at each other, bitterness and disappointment with an emptiness I had hoped to have forgotten by now. Once again facing the realization that things will never be what I wanted and needing to move on. It is painful. Its carving an all to familiar void in my heart, but its necessary. Regret? A two sided coin indeed. Graced with emotions from one extreme to the other. The heart, not aware of the subtle lies it tells itself but wont admit to, still races on. Its oblivious to the end result ahead and the mind being helpless can only brace.
Then the inevitable hits..repeatedly, deeper each time, each memory. Punishment of sorts, mine and mine alone to endure. Realization hits harder than anything, leaving no more than futile reasoning at "why" and "what". Now just a quiet, deep and hollow emptiness that clings to the senses. The heart and mind are now quiet with now words needed...
...seeking solace
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