I don't need a reminder of how I got here. I don't need to relive or retrace my steps to this juncture in life. I have memorized the entire map, lived the entire map. Now? I have no choice but to sit , be still and do nothing but look back at the map and finally see it with eyes wide open. I cant move forward, I cant be as I once was. "I cant".... Something I am not use to having to say..but it is par for the course now. Once I had it all and all under control. I knew what was best and knew what was needed or so I thought. Now? Not....A....Clue. Realizing that a smile is nothing more than skin deep and pure treachery when indulged. The heart knows no better. Bitter? I try not to be, as I would have not seen myself and would have continued blindly along my way had not this befallen me. Tonight I sit frustrated due to not healing. I want normal back. But I know not what normal is now. Yes time is the enemy again. Ebbing and flowing at its own pace, nether speeding or slowing for anyone. Once again learning to let time have its perfect work. the right way is the hardest sometimes. Tonight it slams home again. Good days and bad days it seems. Rising above but sometimes not high enough it seems...only time will allow this breakaway.
...nothing but time.