....if only in my mind.

.......day of days and this one slowly comes to a gentle end. Eveningfall passes by for her visit, whispering reminders of what was so many years ago and that this was the day that it all began 8 years ago. The day that "someone said hello." Face to face for the first time. Heart and mind silent, speechless of what was found. Part of me agreeing and not believing as well and then "the smile."........I fell.
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Clouds and very cool breeze today, fitting my mood really well. Yearning to be somewhere far away, just alone in my fortress of solitude with no one but myself. The days have been a blur and now April looks me in the eyes. Where has the winter of my life gone to. Still the warmth has yet to find its place deep inside, part of me refuses to open up and allow such indulgence. For now this is best. healing has taken place and I am in no shape to reopen wounds from long ago. Memories are that, memories. slowly they fade and I feel myself fade with them. I will find my way, somehow find myself this year........if only in my mind.