"I wanted you to know that I love the way you laugh. I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away...I keep your photograph and I know it serves me well. I wanna hold you high and steal your pain...Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome and I don't feel right when you're gone away"...."You've gone away.. You don't feel me here....anymore"
Today something let go deep inside. Maybe common sense sank in, maybe it it was all the things you said, maybe it was the feelings of no future past what we have. Common sense not being common here lately in my life. A tease of the mind and the heart deeper than what should have ever been allowed. I knew in the beginning what I was allowing and where it would lead to..Nowhere...Yet I remained. Was it worth it? To have that feeling from so long ago fill every ounce of your being. Something you have missed so much and longed to feel again. I thought I could handle the outcome that we knew was coming all along....No. It wasn't worth it as reality is here and payment is due. It isn't my time and never will be. I had my time and it was long ago..I shouldn't have thought I could have you again. Utter foolishness on my part. The heart ruling the mind one beat to long. Tonight my mind is searching for reasons, searching for answers in the chaos the heart created.
Tonight a cold wind blows and it cuts through me.......
Thoughts...Realization....Finality....Sometimes you just have to walk away..