As life proceeds to carry on seems I have the window seat. Seems lately I have hit more dead ends as every turn has no exit. Disappointment grows a little each day and I had my fill of it. Knowing that the end result will be that much sweeter, providing I maintain my sanity. Some days are good, some days are just that, days. Keeping myself busy and the mind occupied but at eveningfall everything slowly fades and silence comes and with it, questions. Should, could, why didn't you. Again I answer each one trying to convince myself that I have done the right thing. I know the past cant be changed but something deep inside refuses to believe. Believing is something I find myself having trouble with. Advice comes from all sides and voices that cant be in the equation offer the same and yet can promise nothing. Understanding is the only thing I have left. Time will pass at its own whim. Some things can be made right but most are lost and time takes them and makes examples for me to remember.
Needing an escape for the mind, heart and soul, but the sense of not being being able to move on is frustrating. Something is holding me still and has been for some time. New surroundings in order perhaps? Maybe I am where I need to be and I am just pushing against what is needed in my life right now. If this is the case I am wasting energy as it is a lesson to be learned and won't it be denied. A "goodbye" from one is a "hello" from another. Patience. Something I so greatly lack. Wanting to move on but its not my choice it would seem...
As life proceeds to carry on seems I have the window seat. Seems lately I have hit more dead ends as every turn has no exit. Disappointment grows a little each day and I had my fill of it. Knowing that the end result will be that much sweeter, providing I maintain my sanity. Some days are good, some days are just that, days. Keeping myself busy and the mind occupied but at eveningfall everything slowly fades and silence comes and with it, questions. Should, could, why didn't you. Again I answer each one trying to convince myself that I have done the right thing. I know the past cant be changed but something deep inside refuses to believe. Believing is something I find myself having trouble with. Advice comes from all sides and voices that cant be in the equation offer the same and yet can promise nothing. Understanding is the only thing I have left. Time will pass at its own whim. Some things can be made right but most are lost and time takes them and makes examples for me to remember.
Needing an escape for the mind, heart and soul, but the sense of not being being able to move on is frustrating. Something is holding me still and has been for some time. New surroundings in order perhaps? Maybe I am where I need to be and I am just pushing against what is needed in my life right now. If this is the case I am wasting energy as it is a lesson to be learned and won't it be denied. A "goodbye" from one is a "hello" from another. Patience. Something I so greatly lack. Wanting to move on but its not my choice it would seem...
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