Half alive..a cruel wanting, nothing more, unable to have and rightfully so. Time is an enemy now. Time and distance coupled with the unknown. The perfectly beautiful yet painful trifecta and maybe its needed, making me appreciate what I may have one day, what I have sought. Walking away and saying goodbye yet again and it was needed, painful choice. Now eager to move on and begin a new life a new chapter, yet this time everything is different and foreign to me. An epiphany of sorts as I realize I am actual hurt and deeply wounded, far more than I realized. Reaching out but nothing there, no one there, nothing within to pull except memories. They offer no solace, only reminders of what I let go, who I said goodbye to. When all is said and done I find myself hesitating but now unable to take another step as I look ahead I see no path offered. The mind and heart refuse to work, much less speak to each other at this point. Maybe its for the best for now. I am not lost as I thought, I realize exactly where I am. Alone and broken.
...I am broken.